Quotes by Will Rogers

This card handcrafted by Mary Lynn.

The following quotes are all by Will Rogers...

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman . . Neither works.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

This card handcrafted by Mary Lynn.

Will Rogers on growing older...

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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Will Rogers was born November 4, 1879 in Oolaogah, Indian Territory (now Oklahoma) and died in an August 15 1935 plane crash at Point Barrow, Alaska Territory.

He joked When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like. I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.

This card handcrafted by Mary Lynn. If you have your own favorite quote and would like to share it, or possibly a story you would like to add please continue to our contributor page.

Mary Lynn

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Every effort has been made to give proper credit to the author of each of the sayings on this site. If there has been any oversight on my behalf please contact me and I will remove the quotation or give the proper acknowledgment.

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